


Photograph

by amayaoia (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Business, Engagement, M/M, Sad Harry, Sadness, Spoiler Alert - Freeform, Young Love, hardships to overcome, i wont tell you when, larry stylinson - Freeform, lol, one direction - Freeform, some smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-03-26 10:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3846991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/amayaoia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>..Oh you can fit me inside the necklace you got when you were 16, next to your heartbeat where I should be, keeping me deep within your soul.. Wait for me to come home...<br/>AU where Harry realizes all that he's ever had had vanished right before his eyes; Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy guys! I really hope you enjoy this, because I've enjoyed writing it so, here you go! Hehehe x

 

 

 

_February 1, 2010_

_"Here, I- I wanted to give you this." Louis pulled out a small black box with a tiny white ribbon around it from his back pocket and placed it in my hands. His fingers were shaking, and his face was dusted with a pink glow._

 

_I smile at the adorableness of it all, taking in the sight of him looking down into his lap, eyelashes casting a soft glow onto his prominent cheek bones._

 

_"Louis, you didn't have to," I stammer, a small grin creeping it's way onto my face. He shakes his head slightly and pushes the tiny box closer to my chest, waiting for me to open it._

 

_We're both sat on my bed, watching the cold winter snow fall freely to the ground, lightly blanketing the cobble stoned sidewalk, leaving it as a beautiful winter wonderland, kind of like in the movies. The seen was lovely._

 

_Louis' face glowed, eyes glossy as the light reflected off of them. Gosh, he's so beautiful. He looks so cozy all bundled up in my jumper._

 

_"No, just.. Open it. Please." He begs._

 

_How can I not accept this? It's my birthday after all. I take in a deep breath and tug lightly on the ribbon, making it fall into my lap. I look back up at him through my eyelashes and see that he's now nervously biting on his lip._

 

_"Oh wow.." I breathe out as I remove the lid._

 

_Inside is a tiny necklace. It's nothing too big or out-there. Just a skinny silver chain with an oval pendant. I carefully pick it up with delicate fingers and examine it._

 

 

_It's a locket._

 

_My face heats up with excitement. Is there a picture inside? I place the box down on my lap and with two fingers, I open up the locket. There's a tiny picture in black and white with him and I in it. We're both looking at each other, smiling. Oh, I remember when this was taken. Not too long ago. A couple months back, to be exact._

 

_It was actually on Louis' birthday, Christmas eve. The tree is glistening in the background, tiny lights lit up._

 

_I look back up at him, eyes beginning to well up with tears. "Louis, it's... it's perfect." I place the necklace back in the box and lean over to give him a warm embrace._

 

_He wraps his delicate arms around my neck and lets out a sigh in relief. "I'm glad you like it, Haz." He chokes out. I pull away and give him a weak smile, eyes burning holes into the soft blue ones before me, before leaning in and softly kissing his lips._

 

_"I love it." I mumble into the kiss. We both pull away and he picks up the box. "Here, turn around so I can put it on you." He instructs. I turn away so my back is facing him._

_I feel the cold chain run against my collar bone as he clasps the hooks together. I look down at it, trying my best to blink away the tears._

 

_"Here, keep it tucked under your shirt to keep it safe. Next to your heartbeat." Louis whispers in my ear. I turn back around and I see him pulling one out from underneath the jumper he's wearing._

 

_"You have a matching one?" I gasp. He nods, holding it in his palm to show me. "So we can both have something to hold onto." He smiles before tucking it away. I do the same._

_"I've never gotten something like this before. So meaningful."  I barely whisper. Tears begin to fall freely from my eyes, once again. Louis reaches out and catches the tears with his thumb, wiping them away, caressing my cheeks ever so lightly, like a feather against my skin._

 

 

_"I got the idea when you told me that if I were to get you something, make it small. I was a little skeptical because I didn't have a single clue as to what that could possibly be._

_Then I saw you taking off your cross necklace one night before you went to sleep. It clicked in me. This was the gift I had to get you. Something small, yet so... like you said, meaningful." He paused for a second, looking back at me, trying to find the words to say._

 

_"Harry, if you're ever having a bad day, or feeling scared, or getting second thoughts about.. us.. Just promise me that you'll always remember this necklace. Hold it in between your fingers, lips. palms... Look at the photograph inside and remember that I will always love you, and I'll always be there for you. Through the thick and thin." Louis is looking me dead in the eyes, hand squeezing mine._

 

 

_I'm lost for words. My heart feels like it's going to leap out of my chest and just burst. My head is pounding and my mouth is dry._

 

_"I.." the only thing that escapes my mouth. I look down into my lap and squeeze my eyes shut. "Louis," my voice cracks a bit. His fingers are placed under my chin, lifting my head up so that I can look at him. I blink my eyes open and see that his eyes are red, small smile placed across his lips. "It's okay, you don't have to say anything." His voice lowers._

 

 

_"Just... hold me for a bit?" I search his eyes for an answer and within seconds I'm in his arms once more, holding onto him with everything that I have._

 

 

_***_

 

 

February 1, 2020

 

The chairs are cold and the people around me hurry by, trying to get home as quickly as possible. 

 

My legs quiver a bit, trying to keep in my body heat to keep me warm. My hood is pulled over my head, slightly damp from the rain. 

 

The loud screeching of the metro train is echoing throughout the entire station, and I get to my feet. Walking over to the red line, I wait for the doors to open so I can get inside and hurry home. 

 

My boots click against the concrete ground, and are silenced once the automatic doors slide open, and I hop on. 

 

The train is full as usual, so I grab a hold onto one of the closest leather hand grips so that I don't fall over. 

 

"Next stop, Clochester Station. All pedestrians please stay seated as the train departs, thank you." The familiar voice can barely be heard as the people chat amongst each other. I sigh, looking down at my feet. 

 

5 minutes later the doors slide open again and I'm headed off to home. The sky outside is dark, lined with dark grey clouds as a small shower pours overhead. 

God, it feels like it's been forever since the last time I've been back home. I walk down the streets of my childhood, pass all the restaurants and bakeries, and pass my old friend's homes.

 

I wonder if any of them are still here?

 

 

Out of curiosity, I make a left turn and begin my way towards the park that I had always came to at night when I needed a breather. 

 

As I approach it, everything looks the same as it did 10 years ago and before that. The same oak tree towered over the wooden fences that were coated in damp moss, the small pebbles that were scattered across the ground were just about the same, and the small river that ran across the back still had the same comforting sound to it. 

 

I stuff my hands into the pockets of my jacket and walk a little more down to where the rusty old swings were. The seats weren't as blue as they used to be, as the color has faded away with age, but it's still pretty much the same. 

 

I take a seat on one of them and take a breath in. My eyes flutter closed as memories begin to flood my mind of when I was a teenager.

I remember coming down here with Louis sometimes when we were bored. One time after my mum had finished cooking us dinner, we came down here out of boredom; It was where we had our first kiss. 

 

I shudder at the faint memory.. That was about a decade ago. It was under the lamppost just across the street from here.

 

I remember like it was yesterday.  It was about 9:00 pm and the stars were out. 

 

Oh, the stars shined so brightly that night. 

 

I had told him that I think I might have feelings for him, and he just kissed me. I was so shocked, yet so relieved. The way he kissed me; I'll never forget. His lips were so delicate and soft, so gentle. We were so young. So innocent.

 

I wonder how he's doing..

 

 

My eyes widen as my heart instantly picks up its pace. _Oh shit_. I nearly trip as I stumble off the seat and begin to sprint home, where I was supposed to be going to in the first place. 

 

I make a right turn and begin to walk up the street, house clear in view. 

 

Gemma's car is parked in front of the house and the front porch light is on. I slow down as I don't want them to know why I was so out of breath, but I _need_ to see it. 

 

 

House 100 A50, here it is.

 

 

I ring the doorbell once and within seconds, my mum is opening the door, smile on her face. 

 

 

"Harry, there's my boy," my mum opens her arms and I step in front of her, wrapping my arms around her waist.

 

"My god, look at you. _26_. My, I feel like an old grandma." She says into my shoulder as I basically tower over her.

 

Behind her comes Gemma, running down the stairs. "Harry!" She squeals with excitement. "Hey, sis." 

 

Mum lets go of me and I step into the house, embracing her in a tight hug.

 

 

  
_Nothing's changed_ , I think as I look around the old place. 

 

The smell of Sunday Roast, the dull lights, and the tiled floor.. Everything's just as I remembered it. I haven't been home in 3 years, so I expected some kind of change, but nothing's really been done.

 

I like that.

 

"Happy birthday, dear." My mum rubs my back as she leads Gemma and I back up the stairs. "Thanks," I grin sheepishly. I feel so old. So.. lonely, almost. 

 

A pleasant yet familiar scent of mum's food cooking fills the air, sending light tingles throughout my entire body.

 

"Whatever you're making smells lovely, mum. I'm going to go upstairs really quickly and get changed. I'll be back down in a bit." I say. She gives me a small smile and waves me off, just like usual.

 

My hands are shaky as I grip the railing, not sure why, though. 

 

I'm lead to a hallway with 5 doors. I take a right and on the very end, my room.

 

I exhale deeply and turn the knob, door creaking a bit.  Everything's just how I remembered it. The window that was basically the only source of light since the light bulbs suck, my bed with the grey duvet and pillows, the old wooden dresser that I kept all of my clothes in, and then on top of it was that little black box that I had meant to find. 

 

When my eyes land on it, I begin to walk up to it, breath hitching. My heart feels like it's about to drop as I pick up the satin box, feeling it in my palms. I haven't laid eyes on this ever since Lou and I... went separate ways.. Which was over 7 years ago, yet here it is... In my hands. 

 

I look up to the ceiling, as I feel the tears coming. 

 

My left hand shakily removes the top, and I carefully place it on the dresser. When I look down, I let out a small pained whimper, light tears streaming down my face. 

 

There it is. 

 

 

Thin, silver chain, glistening. The pendant is closed shut, waiting for me to open it. 

 

I walk back over to the bed and sit down criss-crossed. 

 

Seems like de ja vu.

 

 

I pick up the delicate piece of jewelry, a tugging feeling in my chest throbs. 

 

Opening it up, my lips quiver. There's the photograph. Black and white, the two of us looking into each other's eyes with such _love_. I haven't gotten that feeling in a long time. 

The feeling of knowing that you're loved by someone. The feeling that you know you're safe with them no matter what. The feeling that just erases all of the bad, and replaces it with good. That feeling seems so foreign to me. I loved him. I loved him so much. 

 

The way his smile would light up his entire face, the way his eyes would crinkle into the most adorable shape when he laughed.. Everything about him was so perfect, and I feel so lucky to have had him. 

 

  
_"Look at the photograph inside and remember that I will always love you, and I'll always be there for you. Through the thick and thin."_ I remember him once saying to me. 

He'd always been there for me, loved me. Even though we were so young, I felt like he was the first love that I would ever have, and only have.

 

Boy, was I right.

 

Here I am, 10 _damn_ years later, looking at this _damn_ picture and missing every _damn_ thing about him. Everything we had. It was all that I could of asked for. At 16 years old.. My hair was curlier, much fuller. Now it's longer and just... There. My face has grown and matured a lot more. I've gotten taller. Much taller. The cheekiness in my smile has faded into a dark, bland smile that shows no affection like it used to. My skin isn't as vibrant, everything just seems so different.

 

 

When did it all go wrong?

 

I have so many unanswered questions.. _Where is he? Is he happy? What does he look like? What does he do for a living? Does he have a family, or is he lonely just as I am? Does he even remember me? Remember us?_

 

 

_Does he still have his locket..?_

 

 

I feel like tugging all of my hair out. I feel like going out to find him, but I wouldn't know where to start looking. I feel this desperate need to just... go. 

 

Go out into the world and just look. I don't care if it would take days, months, years.. Hell, until I'm 83! I would do anything to see that face again...

 

Those soft blue eyes gazing back into mine as we both sat at the corner of maths class together, not paying attention to any of the shit Ms. Culp was even talking about.

Those tiny yet soft hands that would curl into mine like little bundles of warmth and safety.

 

And that smile.. His smile is what I missed the most. The way his entire face would light up whenever I brought him his favorite Yorkshire tea in the mornings when I would pick him up. 

 

He would lean against the side of his house, sometimes in the pouring rain, just waiting for me. His entire face would just transform into this beautiful aspect that would be wedged into some part of my brain _forever_.

 

 

But then I remember _why_ he left me. Why things had to be they way they are. It was selfish of him, but I understand.

 

I got a little too.. senseless for him. I was just _so_ in love. I was so in love and I couldn't help it. He was my everything. He was my everything and I.. I can't blame him for leaving while he could.

 

He needed to breathe, and I just went on and suffocated him even more. God, I was such an idiot.

 

I'd always tell myself that I would never go back to change the past for anything, but in this case, I would go back in a heartbeat and fix what I had lost. 

 

Louis Tomlinson _was_ my everything. 

 

Not anymore.

 

It's been 10 years.

 

I... I need to get over him. Even though it's taken me this long to realize it, I have to. No matter how hard it will be, I'll have to find a way to move on. 

 

Until then, I'll keep this locket around my neck until the day I die. I'm always going to remember him, but holding onto the past won't help me move on. This little token is just a matter of self-hope, and love.

 

He's my other half, just not in the way I'd pictured it. 

 

He'd told me that he would always love me, and be there for me. Even though he's not here to kiss away the pain like he used to, this locket will be a reminder that if he were here, he would help and guide me through the tough times. 

 

Like now.

 

 

I take a hold of the necklace and fasten it around my neck, gripping tightly onto the pendant, in fear of it vanishing into thin air. 

 

_"Here, keep it tucked under your shirt to keep it safe. Next to your heartbeat."_

 

The words replay again and again in my head until the words get jumbled. I squeeze my eyes closed and take my trembling bottom lip in between my teeth. 

 

 

 

"Okay," I whisper, lifting the hem of my t-shirt and safely tuck it away, to where it's resting on top of my chest, right over my heartbeat, where he'll always be. 

 

 

 

***

 

 

[follow me on tumblr :)](http://loovelyloouis.tumblr.com/)

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll be continuing this story :)

***

 

A small knocking comes from my door, jolting me awake. I blink my eyes open and slowly begin to come back to reality. What time is it?

 

"Harry?" My mum's soft voice fills in the emptiness in the room, awakening me a bit more. "Mmm?" I rub my tired eyes and sit up, looking around. The room is dark and the lights are out. The window is frosted over and mum is wrapped in a fluffy robe that clings to her body, hair wet from a shower.

 

"Sorry for waking you, I was just checking to see how you were doing, is all," she gives me a tiny shrug and grin, beginning to step back out of the room. "Wait, what time is it?" I ask, swinging my tired legs across the bed and onto the floor, stretching as I do so.

 

"It's 10:30, why?" She grips onto the doorknob, blinking ever so often. My hands fall into my lap and I let out an annoyed groan.

 

"You could of woken me up for dinner." I slouch back down, squeezing my eyes shut. She shrugs once more, shaking her head. "Didn't want to wake you. You looked so tired when you got home, and I know you had a long day. Don't worry about it, bubs. We can talk tomorrow. Now, get some rest. Love you," and with that, she shuts the door in front of her. I stay sat upright until I can't hear her footsteps down the hall anymore.

 

I sit until my body feelings like giving out underneath me. I fall back onto the soft comforter and let out a sigh. My hands rest on my stomach, and my mind wanders.

 

The feeling of young childhood comes rushing back to me as I lie, remembering all the times from all the years back when I was in this same position, a lot shorter than I am now, of course.

 

That was back when life was acceptable. I could live life there without having to worry, really. But, now that I look back at it, and no matter how much I loved life back then, I wish I had a back-up plan or something because now I just feel like I'm stuck. I'm stuck in this pit and I don't know what to do about it.

 

Here I am, 26 years old without a single thought on where I should take my life next. I honestly have no clue, and that really angers me. I'm not scared or anything, just angry with myself. I'm angry with myself because I don't know what to do. If only I had just been more mindful of what was going on when I was 16, I would've known when to stop.

 

My whole life revolved around.. Dare I say it, Louis.

 

Louis.

 

He was my life.

 

   When I woke up, the first thing I thought about was Louis. When I got dressed in the morning and ate breakfast, Louis. When I would drive to his house to pick him up with a waiting cup of tea, Louis. When we would go to school together, Louis. We would go home together, Louis. I drove him home. Louis. I went to bed.. Louis.

 

I don't exactly know what to feel about this, though it kind of feels like a huge slap to the face.

 

Anger begins to pool hot at the pit of my stomach as realization hits me square in the jaw.

 

   I need to do something about it. I've been lying here for ten minutes already and all I can think about is what the hell I'm doing here thinking about something I had a decade ago. 

The  thing is, I'm not employed. Yeah, I graduated uni with a degree in business, but I quit that job long ago. Now I just live in a shit apartment with my best friend Niall. 

 

   I don't really know what I'd be doing without him. He's completed my life in every shape possible. He's been with me since uni, and I can't remember a time when he didn't support me. Even though I'm currently jobless, he doesn't give two shits. 

 

My eyes brim with tears at how thankful I am for a person like him in my life. 

 

But now I just feel like shit. 

 

   I want to be better. I want to show him that I can support myself on my own, too. And I want to finally get over this lump for my past lover that I haven't seen in _so long_ thatmy mind keeps telling me the look in his eyes is starting to fade from my memory. 

 

   But no.. I still remember like it was in broad daylight. The way his eyes would do this thing _just for me_ whenever he looked at me. The blueness of them are still as vibrant as I can remember. They're like crystals that never go dull. 

 

The crinkles that formed whenever he would laugh. The way the shade of his eyes would change depending on his mood. 

 

Louis, I'll never forget him. 

 

I thought he was the love of my life at the time, so you can't really forget a face like that. 

 

I turn over on the bed, facing the window that's seeping with moonlight, and shut my eyes. 

 

When I wake up, I try not to open my eyes and expect to see blue ones looking back into mine. 

 

 

***

 

  Morning  light wakes me up, stinging my eyes just a tad. My back arches, giving a few pops, and I sigh. I haven't had a good night's sleep like that in ages, and it feels so good.

 

The clock on the wall reads 10:03 am, so I guess now's the time to get up and go see my mum. 

 

She's sat at the table with our cat, Molly. Her tail is swaying from side to side as mum sips at her tea. "Morning, love." She greets. I give her a sleepy smile and walk into the kitchen, pouring myself a cup of tea as well.

 

I can feel mum's eyes on me as I sit. "How'd you sleep, darling?" She asks. I give her a shrug and bring the cup to my lips. "Alright." I murmur.

 

"That's good. So how's my boy been? Have anything exciting to talk about, or any plans? Fill me in." She presses on, leaning on her elbows as I quietly sip. I think about that question for a bit.

 

Do I? Or am I just going to give her the same answer as I did three years ago? I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. She quirks an eyebrow, as if telling me to go on.

 

"Well, I was just thinking of getting a job, maybe." I look down at my hands, avoiding her surprised eyes. "Oh, Harry! This is amazing! I'm so proud of you!" She squeals with joy. I awkwardly laugh, nodding my head.

 

"Yeah, well, the thing is.. I don't really know where to begin or what to do," I sigh. "And, it always just feels like when I do finally come around to this decision with a made-up mind, I always.. chicken out? I don't know, mum. It's hard to explain." I rub at the back of my neck. 

 

She just looks at me, eyes roaming my face, probably conjuring up an answer for me. "Well, Harry.. Let's put it this way. Do you feel ready?" She asks. I focus my eyes on a painting behind her, mind churning. 

 

"Well, it sort of feels like I am." I shrug.

  She only nods, "Well, I just want to make sure that you feel like you're ready to do this because if you're not, then just try again. You never chickened out, you just weren't ready. And hey, that's perfectly okay. Just take things slow. Getting into a career can be scary at times, but it's only life. You'll do things that you may not like or want to do, but when you do do them, you'll feel like a million bucks. Okay?" 

  

I nod, biting my lip. Maybe she's right. If I just make sure that I'm completely ready for something like this, then I'll be able to do it. 

 

I give her a warm smile and pull her into a tight hug. "Thanks, mum. Really." I say into her dark hair. "Anytime, dear."

 

Now all I have to do is work up the courage to tell Niall that I want a change of plans. 

 

***

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, this is only the end to a new beginning :)

**Author's Note:**

> ;)


End file.
